The passing of my beloved boy
It is with a heavy heart to share that my beloved boy Connor made his transition on 11-11 at 11 1/2 years old. The last vet bill was $1118. A very auspicious and angelic number 11 or 111 is. They say those are angel numbers. My boy got his wings!
It was a very fast and hard few days before he left the earth. We were at the vet 4 out of the 5 days. Besides being very sick and not eating he still had a lot of piss and vinegar in him. Connor was normally a big chow hound and was ALWAYS ready to eat. He didn’t eat his last days on the earth and that was hard to watch. He tried to distract me from that by still wanting his butt rubs and meowing for me to play with him. When he was at the vet on to receive his ultrasound and other things the vet was absolutely stunned how well he seemed to be doing even though the ultrasound showed us much worse. But that was him! He even flirted and purred with the vet techs and grabbing them with his paw as they walked by. He was such a ham, true to himself up to his very last breath.
Connor showed signs of pain such as pacing, hiding and sleeping in closets and places he never slept before, urinating and defecting had slowed and the eating stopped. All telltale signs that something is definitely not right. I share that a lot with clients for signs from their own fur babies and wrote an article about that in the FETCH magazine as well. Those signs are so important to notice and take immediate attention to.
After his passing Connor gave quick and fast signs that eased my mind but my heart deeply grieved for him. As I started my car my sister came running over saying a hawk swooped down like 20 feet from them and then landed in a tree close to the ground. I saw that he perched there then he flew to another tree and perched higher up before he finally took flight and flew away from our eyesight. A HUGE sign that he was A-OK! I breathed a sigh of relief as I took my drive back home with an empty carrier in the back.
Once I arrived home I sat in my recliner in silence trying to take it all in. Within seconds a heard a loud chirping in my front bush by my window. Yes, I have cardinals in my backyard by my bird feeders but never in my front bush! the cardinal chirped for at least 5-10 minutes and it/he felt so happy, so elated. Another reassuring sign that Connor was insisting that he was free, happy as a clam, and didn’t want me to worry about him. Later that evening once I returned home from work Maple was on my lap and started staring at the wall then followed him all around the house. His spirit walked his normal route through the room all the up to the back of the chair we were sitting on. Connor greeted me in the morning with the regular bathroom routine and throughout the day as if he would in the physical form. It was amazing to witness! All throughout the days and weeks ahead he’s been quite the active boy in spirit which I love.
Tuesday morning I dreamt of him as he cuddled next to me in his regular position. That same night I was in a sound healing group and dozed off and Connor popped in halfway through to let me know he came with me too. It brought a big smile to my face and a deep warmth to my heart and soul.
I realize now how much love, fun, laughter and playfulness he gave me. A part of my knew it while he was here but it wasn’t until after his departure that I realized how much he filled this home with such love. Connor was such a special soul and he came to me for so many reasons. One of them after his physical absence is to assist and guide me to the next step of my journey. A message I couldn’t even finish fully embracing before tears fell quickly out of my eyes and my shoulders shook with such shock, surprise and hurt for the profound and sudden loss I felt. A powerful message I’ll share more about later too.
My soul still aches for him and I plan on writing more once I feel up to it but I did want to share some of my experiences so quickly after his departure to give you hope, perhaps validation of signs you may have received, and awareness that our loved ones are with us all the time.
Thank you for sharing in this painful journey and honoring the process of life!