This is my Powerhouse trio, the 3 Musketeers, the Trinity effect in the spirit plane that assist me on the earthly plane. They are all very near and dear to my heart and miss their physical presence on earth. Carol Roberts, Rebecca Moravec, and my Grandmother.
In order of their passing…
Carol was my first teacher here on the earth and I give her credit to literally saving my life. I was in horrible physical and emotional pain. I was suicidal at the time, I struggled with migraines 3-4 times a week, hospital visits, I was in an unhealthy relationship, and had anger issues out of this world. She gave me hope, tools, the gift of strong, kind women friends, a mentor, teacher, a spiritual mother figure, and a dear, personal friend.
Carol was a true trailblazer of the spiritual movement when it was taboo, forbidden and not discussed back in the 70’s. She taught many classes, all of which, I took. She offered spiritual retreats for women where I connected with other like minded women who I am still friends with to this day. Carol instructed me down my personal and spiritual path and was the first one to tell me I’d open my own business helping people and animals. I literally laughed in her face and left thinking she was a true nut bag, but still kept taking her classes, I felt and knew I had too. It spoke to my gut. Meditation is where all my gifts unfolded and where I met true sisters to show me the meaning of sacred friendships with women. A true blessing.
After her passing I struggled with the loss. I had my last reading with her a month before her passing which was such an amazing blessing. I still have her notes to this day. I felt guilty for teaching what she taught even though I had her blessing. It was hard to stand on my own two feet since she was such a strong force in my life but it was a necessary shift to strengthen me and expand even further into my journey.
A fellow student and client of Carol’s contacted me and asked for a “free reading” to “test” me to see if I was “good enough” to refer people to me. At first I agreed then thought ain’t no fn way to set myself up for a “pass or fail” kind of thing with this man I barely knew. And to ask my for a free reading already raised some flags. I called him back and let him know that I wouldn’t allow that to happen, even if he were to pay me, for I could feel he already had an agenda and that wasn’t worth the struggle. My first lesson of spiritual ego from him and first lesson that I had it in me NOT to get someone else’s validation or approval of being good enough because Carol told me I was good enough and so did my soul. Booyah! A tough lesson that made me sweat but out of that I grew an inch or two.
I don’t even know where to start with this woman! I was already a practicing animal communicator for several years when I met her. I started taking all of her classes too. Anything she taught, I was there. Her energy was magical, soft, gentle, fun and playful and a true gift to be around. Rebecca lived an hour from me and I didn’t bat an eye. I woke up early, planned ahead, packed a lunch and did what I needed to do. If she lived 3 hours away it wouldn’t matter. I’d travel anywhere for her!
It was a true privilege and an honor to know her, study with her, learn from her, and to become a friend of hers. Rebecca was a true gift to this world and animals. No one will ever replace her and nor can they. A true earth angel, spiritual warrior, leader of women, healer, teacher and a living phenom.
Even though I knew she was very ill I still wouldn’t allow myself to even think of her leaving us. Even though we chatted and text and even seeing her the last week in the hospital I wasn’t ready for such a huge loss!. No one was. I had a haunting feeling in my gut when I left but quickly shut it down. Even texting with her Christmas Day I wrote, erased, wrote again because nothing felt appropriate. I eventually hit send not consciously knowing what was unfolding, nor did I allow myself to.
Rebecca had started to ask me if it was ok that she’d refer half of her clients to me and the other half to another colleague. I had to pick my mouth up off the floor and didn’t know what to say. Plus, another nudge that she was starting to let go even more from her body. I was stunned, humbled, surprised and extremely honored. After pulling myself together I agreed and said I would do my best. Rebecca said she knows I would! I felt relief with her validation and her trust in me.
I had no idea how much negativity, judgement, criticism, backlash I would receive from her clients and students! I was stunned, heartbroken, disappointed and hurt but that was part of the territory and lessons that came with that. I understood it was a shock to some just from learning of her passing alone then to have some new to take over, its a lot to take in. But nothing would prepare me for the journey ahead: emotionally, energetically, personally and professionally.
Rebecca’s clients and students questioned me, attacked me and my worth, abilities, credentials and how I performed my work, even my payment methods. Even though I was listed on Rebecca’s website people still questioned why they never heard of me before. Plus, she was around for almost 16 years and worked throughout WI and IL and I’m 10 years younger than her. She would never refer anyone without her approval and trust but people questioned that. I know that I will resonate with some people and others will find someone else. That’s ok, I understand.
I would never nor want to “replace or fill Rebecca’s shoes.” That’s impossible and nothing I would try to do. I am me. You are You. Rebecca was Rebecca. Of course, I would love to encompass her love, compassion, playfulness and gifts but I know God made me for me, as me, and I’m learning to love myself just for that. I am a forever work in progress, period! I will be until the day I pass on.
She was the best, most amazing woman. I also knew in taking over some of her clients that she struggled with boundaries and being available for a lot of her clients 24/7, which exhausted her. Rebecca was going to change over her payment methods and start being less available but she wasn’t able to do it. There was a lot going on behind the scenes that clients and students didn’t know. The other part of my journey was teaching her clients that resonated with me boundaries, similarities in our work and abilities, and that I’m Stacy, not Rebecca. Again, I would love to be but I’m not suppose to be. That was and is hard for some of her clients. WE all miss her!
My human side of me thinks that if she didn’t give some much of herself that her health wouldn’t have suffered so much, because she never got enough rest, that she’d still be here. The other part of myself KNOWS she came here, did her thing, exactly as she was suppose to and then it was her time to go. Nothing really would have changed that even with more rest for she needed a lung and heart transplant at the end.
Another instance is when Rebecca’s husband Joe asked me to facilitate her memorial service. Again, I was extremely shocked and surprised and needed time to process and meditate on it. After a few signs and nudges I agreed to facilitate her service. I didn’t tell anyone but her best friend just to hold the sacredness and integrity of the energy for it was a lot for me to even process and hold. There was some beautiful feedback and also a lot of negativity and crap too. I tried to stay focus on the positivity and knowing Rebecca was there guiding and protecting me.
I’m not looking for the “oh poor Stacy, oh, it must have been rough, boo hoo…” I’m just sharing my journey and the lessons it taught me and the strength and courage it took to move through it, which I didn’t know I had at the time. Plus, knowing what I know, I know it’s their issue and their shit so I really had to step away from that. I received Joe, Rebecca’s and their families gratitude and kindness and that’s all that mattered. Period.
I realize as I write this that I’ve been carrying this for over 2 1/2 years now. I set them free, I set myself free! I am free to be ME!
Regardless, I’m extremely humbled, honored and forever grateful to be have been able to be a part of Rebecca’s journey and teachings and to carry on her legacy with my Stacy spin to it. There is positive and negative in everything, but I’m focusing on the positive knowing Rebecca has my back and we’re in this together. She still works with her clients the spirit plane and it’s a true testament in her connection with her work and all she accomplished in her life.
My grams, the ol’ bag, Akka, my ol’ shit, and my sassy grams. She had many names and all very fitting for her! She died peacefully at 98 1/2 years young. It was a tough last few months but a necessary process for us all to go through.
She was my first and biggest supporter of my psychic and spiritual work!! Her mother, my great grandmother had phenomenal ESP and it runs on her side of the family. All of us have our own gifts and abilities in the family, including the ol’ bag. I could tell my ol’ bag just about anything. I moved to West Allis to get out of Waukesha but also just to be close to her. We had a beautiful arrangement. I’d cut her grass, she’d do my laundry. I’d plant her flowers and do yard work and she’d cook me dinner. But it was much more than the surface stuff. I was able to just be myself with no expectations. Playing cards, laughing, joking or just being silent. I could just “be.”
Akka was always supportive of me, put me in my place as needed, guided and assisted me on so many levels. She always wanted to know how my work was going and would praise me and say how proud she was of me. I loved her so much and still do! We had such a special bond that my heart still swells with love and overflowing with admiration for her. There were many nights where she was my Friday night date. We’d go out to dinner, play cards, eat ice cream, go for a walk or I’d push her in her wheelchair. It was really the simple, little things that made our world go round.
My grams was an amazing woman to many, many people, related or not. Her life was a forever evolving testament of who she was and even to her death. The nurses and staff also loved her. They mourned her loss with us and all shed tears. It was quite miraculous and healing how it all happened too but that’s for another time.
I could write on and on about my sassy grams but this is all I am able to muster at the moment without falling apart. I know as the air that I breathe, that she is with me, all of us, as we go through life without her physical presence but knowing she’s a fricken powerhouse that will be fiercely protecting us on journey. You do not, I repeat do not, mess with her family or friends!!
In closing, this is part of my team of heavenly angels watching over me and assisting me on this fascinating journey. I am forever grateful to know such amazing, beautiful, powerful, inspiring, bold, trailblazing women. I’ve learned so much from each of them and feel their presence regularly. I wanted to share with you my part of my special team to remind you that you have your own powerhouse team of heavenly beings and angels assisting you, known or not.
I have teachers and mentors still here on the earth that I truly adore, admire and love, which I’m super grateful for too! Perhaps I will write about in another time.
Thank you for being a part of my journey!