Happy, almost, New year! Even though I’m a bit under the weather I will still be celebrating a short, but sweet gathering then home to rest more. I think the holiday season and too much ripping and running took it’s tool on me because I didn’t have enough “me” time.
One of the pictures is my door of love. The door of cards I received from this last month from the lost of my sweet boy Connor, thank you cards and holiday wishes. I felt like I needed some extra mojo and good juju and adding the cards to the door helped me feel inspired and loved from day to day. I am hopeful I got just about everyones cards up there and if I missed one I apologize in advance. A lovely friend dropped off a sweet gift but I had no mojo to hang hers up unfortunately, but she’s there in spirit and in my heart.
This year I learned an awful lot of painful lessons but also some awe-inspiring and powerful lessons. My Health was a BIG one for me this year and I was bothered that I wasn’t able to help some dear clients and friends as I would have liked through some challenging times but I had absolutely nothing to offer them because I was so depleted. That was very hard for me to decline assistance or refer them to other people but that was a HUGE lesson that I need to take care of ME first otherwise I am NO good for others. You cannot give from an empty vessel. A lesson I tend to repeat every so often just in case I may have forgotten that before. LOL and UGH!
I found where I fell short for myself and others. That old patterns, behaviors, thoughts and images replaying need a makeover on a very deep way. I’ve gained weight from some of the health challenges and struggled with how to adjust some things and food patterns. But I did find a new, wonderful Natrapath since my previous one passed away so I’m excited to see how these new supplements can assist me to good health once again. Having zip, zero energy sucks btw… Enough to get through my days, clients, work but not enough to fully enjoy life and playing. I’m on my way to great health!!
One very painful experience was having to put my cat Connor to sleep very suddenly and unexpected in November. The pain and loss alone was excruciating itself but then the hurt and disappointment for the lack of support I didn’t receive was even more disheartening. I felt very angry, even rageful, which I haven’t felt in a l-o-n-g time. My expectations of how I thought people should be because of how I supported or helped them in their times of need really lit me up. I had to relearn that how I am with others is different than how they may respond or be with me. I tend to give so much to SO many and I tend to go above and beyond sometimes and when it’s finally my turn to need help, support or love it shocked and hurt me by the “lack of” that I didn’t received. But I did find that where one person dropped the ball someone totally unexpected picked it up and delivered big time in such a surprising, touching and lovely way. It’s always fascinating how that works. I would even say the same thing about my Grandmothers passing last year too. Just wonderful surprises out of the blue!
Plus, I realized that some people are just extremely ignorant and judgmental around grief and dying by pushing on their opinions and expectations of what “they” would have done differently. I almost choked the shit out of someone for a remark they made. My body froze in disbelief, rage overflowed from my toes and I just about lost my shit but somehow the “Spiritual Stacy” found her way back to the top and came out unscathed, probably more so for their sake. Again, another lesson that it’s THEIR shit, not mine, so LET- IT- GO- STACE! Whew!
Or when people give gifts or compliments with energetic attachments. I don’t think that everyone is always consciously aware that they’re doing it whereas some do. A-G-A-I-N, Their shit and insecurities. Breathe it away Stace. Just because you know that doesn’t mean you need to tell them they’re being A-holes. Just sayin’ 🙂
I read a passage in Anthony Williams “Life Changing Foods” book that helped me get through that immediately!
“Compassion is not empathy. Empath has an expiration date just like a carton of milk. If someone has been suffering for a long time, others’ empathy starts to sour. At first friends and family rally about people who have been ill for some time. Months or years later those onetime supporters are nowhere to be found ro suspicious and blameful about how long the suffering has lasted.
Compassion is not Sympathy. That’s because sympathy has strings attached— it’s like a loan. When you lend someone a sympathetic ear, it’s with the implicit understanding that she or he will return get favor someday. I owe you one kind of thing.
Compassion has No strings or sell by date. It is timeless and can never spoil. When you’ve received compassion, there’s no loans shark who will hunt you down and make you give it back with interest. Whereas empathy and sympathy can come with a violin playing, compassion has no melodrama. Compassion is on a plane beyond empathy and sympathy. It is strong, vital and contagious in the best sense of the word. Compassion is life-changing. It opens up the heart and connects the soul.
When we become too frugal with our compassion, though , we get stuck in a pattern of withholding. WE become afraid of feeling someone else’s sadness, or understanding her or his perspective— we don’t want imagine we could ever be in that position. We treat compassion like a precious commodity that has to be rationed, then we micromanage its distribution.
We can’t stop at loving ourselves, though. The next step is to rediscover compassion—first for ourselves, and then for others. When ignited and passed along, compassion has a force of it’s own. It exceeds every birthday and holiday present in hundreds of lifetimes put together. It breaks all material laws and supersedes everything seeable and tangible here on earth. No matter what your beliefs and grounding principles are, compassion is critical. If you seek good karma, compassion is the foundation. If you want to attract abundance in your life, compassion is the only way for it work. Compassion IS Abundance, abundance of spirit that reaches out from one person to another to express the sentiment that we all want to hear: you are not alone.”
BOOYAH!!! I immediately let go of my pride, hurt, disappointment etc… and embraced myself in compassion once again. Whew! What a fn message.
So…this year, this new year, 2018 is a non-nonsense bullshit kinda year. Fuck the dumb shit and I’m focusing on what’s important! Reprioritizing, restructuring, and revamping myself on gentle, positive and loving ways.
I already wrote and will continue to write about the new seeds I’m planting, feelings, affirmations, visions, boundaries, and loving energy that’s overflowing with love into my life.
Deleting olds texts, changing messages, energetically cleansing my vehicle, office and home. De-cluttering closets, giving away old clothes I’ll never wear or doesn’t fit and letting go of more “stuff” I never use.
What will YOU be doing for a new, healthy, and productive 2018?!?!? Let’s hear it…
Thank you so much for being a part of this amazing journey together! I appreciate you!
Have a happy and Safe New Year!
Hugs and High Fives Peeps!